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Mr. President, please don't forget to send thank-you cards to the following people...

by Conservativity Staff,
Originally Posted: 11/3/2004

Dear Mr. President,

First of all, I congratulate you on your house-rocking mandate.  No matter how the desperate ultra-left media tries to spin it, the fact is that you got a 3,000,000 vote majority (not plurality) of the popular vote.  It is the first clear majority Presidential win since 1988.  You also received more popular votes than any presidential candidate in history.  Mr. President, I am stunned by this mandate, considering that the mainstream media worked closely with the forces of senator Kerry in a desperate attempt to unseat you by all means possible.  Nonetheless, I thank you for your honesty, and the American people, smart as they are, saw through the garbage that was coughed up and not only gave you a mandate, but made the night a virtual GOP landslide.

I am sure you know what I am about to say, because you are way smarter than the leftists credit you.  They think you are a dunce, when in reality you are a Harvard MBA who successfully ran both a moderately large company, a major league baseball team and Texas.  The following groups contributed more than they realize to your stunning victory:

• The Massachusetts Supreme Court and the Mayor of San Francisco:  By forcing the issue of gay marriage, they triggered ballot referenda that drew Christians and family oriented voters in droves in 11 states, including Ohio.  We both know that they did not come out, vote against gay marriage and then for Kerry.  Frankly, if the issue had been up in Illinois and Michigan, you would have probably had an electoral blowout.  The #1 issue in the election was morality, and on that issue, you win hands down.
   
• Dan Rather and CBS News:  By circulating "all the news that’s fit to fake,"  they launched a backlash against your opponent, by voters who realized that there was no Microsoft Word in 1972, these people making up virtually 100% of the conservative voting bloc.
   
• Michael Moore:  Mr. Moore has made a bad movie that accuses you of being worse than Hitler (who frankly is very close to Moore in his philosophy; Moore is obviously an ardent student of Goebbels).  He backed things up with "evidence" that was so bad that Saturday Night Live had a fake Osama Bin Laden doubt him!  Moore’s extremism caused the Swift Boat Vets and others to come out with the truth, and the duplicity of the leftists was on open display.
   
• The Exit Pollsters:  Their ribald attempt to con the networks to call states early went sour.  The end result is that the pollsters are forever discredited.  Thank God!
   
• Al Gore, Tom Daschle, Ted Kennedy and John Kerry:  Their negative ranting showed clearly how level headed you were and how goofy they are.  The voters ratified your level-headedness and excoriated the leftists’ goofiness.
   
• Nickelodeon Kids vote, the Redskins and the Red Sox:  We Americans love nothing more than to debunk a curse or a jinx.  The Nick kids were Kerry voters (I wonder how skewed that was), The redskins lost at home, and the Red Sox broke their curse (although that’s not related to your win).
   
• Osama Bin Laden:  That tape shows how impotent he is and how successful you are.  He could only launch a tape at us.

Mr. President, please feel free to run with your mandate.  You have it.  Appoint justices.  Privatize Social Security.  Slash the guts out of the budget.  Send terrorists to their maker.  Congrats.