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Get Your Hand Out of My Burkha!

by Conservativity Staff,
Originally Posted: 11/12/2004

The following report is true.  We could not have made it up.  We would never play a joke like this on you.  Leftists are now suggesting that our President send a special emissary to the Middle East to attempt to negotiate a lasting peace:  Bill Clinton!  After writing the last sentence, and before I started writing this one, I paused for about 90 minutes, the time it took for me to stop laughing at the notion captioned above.  A mind is a terrible thing to waste, but apparently the elitist left have removed their brains and deposited them in the door slot made famous in Young Frankenstein.

"Bill Clinton is easily the most unqualified person we could send to the Middle East.  He’s correctly perceived as weak.  He’s correctly perceived as ineffective.  He’s correctly perceived as a guy who would not find a burkha to be a barrier to a good pickup line."

Bill Clinton is easily the most unqualified person we could send to the Middle East.  He’s correctly perceived as weak.  He’s correctly perceived as ineffective.  He’s correctly perceived as a guy who would not find a burkha to be a barrier to a good pickup line.  It takes a great deal to be more toxic to effect foreign policy than Jimmy "North Korea Nukes" Carter.  Bill Clinton easily passes that test.

Before we get too far into analyzing the ex-president and his affinity for negotiating techniques like "hide the cigar,"  we have to ask:  Is there anything to negotiate?  The Bush Doctrine woould seem to preclude negotiations -- we don’t do that with terrorists.  Arafat’s successor is a terrorist.  Hamas, Islamic Jihad and the rest of their ilk will never negotiate.  They want every Jew on Earth dead.  Al-Qaeda wants America out of the Middle East, that will never happen.

"The only reason that we have not been overrun by terrorists is our President’s policy of ventilating them with bullets.  The only reason that New York is not in ruins from repeated attacks against innocent civilians is our President’s policy of vaporizing terrorists with smart bombs."

The only reason that we have not been overrun by terrorists is our President’s policy of ventilating them with bullets.  The only reason that New York is not in ruins from repeated attacks against innocent civilians is our President’s policy of vaporizing terrorists with smart bombs.  Now, the liberals in the media continually call my fellow conservatives and me "dumb," "ignorant," "stupid" and a plethora of other names.  I therefore may be too much of a simpleton, but to me, one cannot negotiate with one who intends to either ventilate with bullets or vaporize them.

"The only negotiation is this:  Lay down your arms or die."

Were we to negotiate, sending a suckup like Clinton is a deadly mistake.  Send Don Rumsfeld, outfitted with crossed ammo belts, grenades and a 50-Cal machine gun, ala Rambo.  The only negotiation is this:  Lay down your arms or die.  Let D.R. cut through the crap as only he can.  The terrorists will understand this sort of "negotiation."  Clinton’s brand of negotiation, which we’ll call "Capitulate-O-Rama," is best illustrated by the attempted 2000 Israel peace accord.  Clinton, in a typical display of his moral compass, bullied Israel into surrendering 99% of everything that Arafat and the PLO wanted.  Arafat, the father of terrorism, refused.  Ehud Barak lost his job as Prime Minister, after he sat across the table from the man who helped murder his brother at Entebbe and in essence mortgaged Israel in an effort to gain peace.

The lesson here is important.  Now, Ariel Sharon, the originator of the tough anti-terror policy that inspired the Bush Doctrine, runs Israel.  Ariel Sharon is the father of anti-terrorism.  Sharon is the ultimate good guy, and he is willing to give land, but he is no suckup.  He has respect because he is one of the most brilliant military generals in the history of the world.  He does not play around.  Not playing around seems like the opposite of Bill Clinton.  Sending Clinton, if ever our President were to lose his marbles and do so, will not guarantee peace; it will only guarantee screams of "Get your Hand Out of My Burkha!" from scores of Middle Eastern women.