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Osama Bin Ineffective!

by Conservativity Staff,
Originally Posted: 11/18/2004 4:13:49 PM

Osama Bin Laden and those ragtag remaining lieutenants of Al-Qaeda have, in a co-operative operation between Pakistan (terrorist nation turned friend) and the United States, been effectively and completely isolated.  They are without communications gear.  Aside from the occasional videotape, they are unable to direct Al Qaeda operations anywhere.  "They are living in the remotest areas of the world without any communications — other than courier — with the outside world or their people and unable to orchestrate or provide command and control over a terrorist network," said Lt. Gen. Lance Smith, deputy commander of Central Command.

"We haven’t killed Bin Laden, that’s true.  We’ve done better.  We’ve left Bin Laden alive so that he cannot be a martyr to the cause of blowing up innocents to get one’s own way.  But, we’ve left him ineffective too."

I guess this answers the question about George W. Bush dropping the ball on Bin Laden as was suggested by John Kerry during the debates.  We haven’t killed Bin Laden, that’s true.  We’ve done better.  We’ve left Bin Laden alive so that he cannot be a martyr to the cause of blowing up innocents to get one’s own way.  But, we’ve left him ineffective too. We’ve cut him off and stuck him in the middle of nowhere, unable to sleep in the same location for two consecutive nights, for fear of being hauled off to Washington in chains.

This was wise planning on the part of our President and his inner circle, Powell, Cheney, Rumsfeld and Rice.  Al Qaeda needed to be much more fully deflated before we take out the bearded devil.  With the terrorists in Fallujah either dead or running for their lives, we’re closer.  The USA is mopping up nicely in Iraq, and the elections there will be held on schedule.  This in and of itself is a miracle from God and the United States Armed Forces.  The time is coming, sooner than you think, when the leftist media networks will hang their heads in saddened despair.  An unspeakable tragedy will have befallen them; a tearful Dan Rather will interrupt CSI (knowing that it will cost him his job) to announce that Osama Bin Laden is our prisoner.

That same night, on Hannity & Colmes, Sean and special Guest Ann Coulter will dance on the desk as Alan finally gives up and becomes a conservative and joins them (although the idea of Alan Colmes boogie-ing is enough to induce nausea).  The next day on talk radio will be the stuff of legend, as Rush makes it into the Guiness book of world records for the most times any person has said "see I told you so!" in a three hour period.  But I digress.

The important part of the victory, rendering Al-Qaeda effectively headless, is complete!  That’s awesome news!  The 2004 elections were attacked with a videotape!  It’s important to remember that, since September 11, 2001, there has not been a single successful terrorist attack in the United States of America -- thank God.  We’ve thwarted more than a few, some of which we’ll not know about until decades shall have passed and documents declassified.  This is a cause for celebration and thanksgiving.  Remember how much God has protected us before you chow down on that turkey next Thursday.  Remember that Osama is in a cave somewhere eating lousy food while God allows us to relax at home and watch football in HDTV on plasma monitors.  Osama Bin Laden is now Osama Bin Ineffective, thanks be to God.